Tapa Tasneem has bravely offered up their chapter for me to sink my teeth into. I enjoyed reviewing this opening and could see how a lot of small tweaks in the writing style could really bring out the best in it. Here’s my line review: Hans Hayder was never told no by anyone. His heart pulsed against his chest as he felt the cigarette climb to his mouth and exhaled with an aura of tranquillity. [A nice striking image with lots of emotion! There are tricks to making this sound instantly stronger (see below)] His being [Isn’t ‘his being’ just himself, so you could just say ‘he’?] felt lighter and for just the smallest amount of time, he forgot who and where he was. His feet left the ground, and he was soaring like the hawk that his mother had imitated to him as a child [This really makes me wonder what the hawk means to him and why his mother imitating one sticks in his mind - maybe explore this intriguing idea. Perhaps split the sentence in two to improve the flow, and then expan...