Skip to main content

SP Book Review: Unfortunates

UNFORTUNATES by Lillian Graves
2 Stars
Verdict: Needs a developmental edit.


Seventeen-year-old Vanessa is about to get a new life—whether she wants one or not. With a best friend keeping a crazy big secret from her and her parents rubbing their perfect high school love story in her rocky relationship's face, she doesn't have any more cares to give. So when Adam, a ghost who calls himself an Unfortunate, tells her she is his Match - the one who can help him earn his second chance at life by committing random acts of kindness – she nearly blows a fuse. 

No, scratch that. It shot straight off. I mean, why help a ghost who may just be in her head? What was in it for her?

After the denial and resistance pass, Vanessa begins to realize not all of arrangement is against her favor. There is something rather cute about Adam and maybe, just maybe, if he is telling the truth and she brings him back to life, he could be her new date to prom.

But can her selfish ways live up to his expectations?


~*~


The Rating Breakdown
Enjoyment: 2 I got pretty frustrated with it.

Writing Style: 3 A few quirky lines. A few confusing lines.

Plot: 1 Other than milling around and talking about concepts? Not much. 

World & Concepts: 1 Confusing, underdeveloped, inconsistent. 

Characters: 2 Nessa was well developed but not very likable. The rest... were ‘the rest’.

Finish: 5  No typos. Great cover.

Strengths: Made me smile in a few places.

Weakness: No real plot and concepts are inconsistent. 

~*~

To rant or not to rant...

I could write a hefty developmental report for this book. Instead I’ll try and keep this as short as possible.

It started to get confusing pretty early on, and from 50% onwards I was wondering where the main plot was hiding. The story seemed to be a wordy explanation of the different ghosts, called Unfortunates, with Vanessa’s love life thrown in-between. If you can take it on face value you might love it, but if you’re like me and can’t ignore inconsistencies and things that just don’t make any sense then you probably won’t do well with it.

I found Vanessa (Nessa) intriguing. She’s mouthy and enjoys playing the kid-card against her parents, but she also has an altruistic side. There was something very real about her. Then again, she tends to act like a hypocritical bully which makes her difficult to like at times, as realistic as she might seem. At least she was interesting to follow but it’s always better when you can root for the characters.

I liked Nessa’s parents the most. The mum reminded me a little of my own and the dad seemed loving and not afraid to call Nessa out when she’s being rude (shame he wasn’t around more often). It’s great to see an older couple still affectionate too.

That’s it for the characters. I’ve already forgotten the rest. As for the plot, nothing much happens other than milling around and learning about Unfortunates. A lot of coincidental events occur and Nessa went about her daily life. This wasn’t necessarily dull, but if you asked me where will the character be ten pages later, it could have been absolutely anywhere. Probably at school, though. Or trying to shake off Eric, the boyfriend of three years that she’s fed up of.

As for the concepts, I loved the idea of human Matches being linked to ghostly Unfortunates. That’s what drew me in, and it’s kinda what spat me back out.

Once you get into the details, it makes absolutely no sense. We have Ones, Twos, and Threes, and despite the amount the book went on about them, I had no idea what these terms meant until another reader took a stab at explaining it to me afterwards. There are also bizarre and illogical tasks that needed to take place for...reasons. Kindness acts are also some type of currency, but how you spend and receive isn’t something that’s defined or shown.

It is almost like the author didn’t have a clear mechanism figured out before writing it. Even the characters seemed confused. “I don’t think anyone understands it,” Nessa says at one point. What hope does a reader have if even the characters have no idea?

The writing style was a little difficult too. Sometimes it was creative, other times it felt odd. Occasionally I had to reread sections to work out why the characters had mood swings, but for the most part, there’s an original spark. Some lines from the first part made me smile as well. I had high hopes to start with because the writing is quite strong.

Part of me thinks ‘Good writer, wrong story’. I’d be interested to see some of Lillian Graves’ future novels. Some writers take a few books before they really nail the whole writing thing. It’s not as easy as it looks...

Source: Author (Thank you, and sorry I couldn’t be more positive!)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Your Best Character: Quiz and Contest

The best characters are put through hell and yet can still carry the story forward on their broken shoulders. Your plot will fall flat if your characters are one dimensional and strong characters can make a cliché story really shine; characterisation takes work and thought. The key to character development is to ask questions. Maybe spend time thinking about the scenarios that have happened to your character which won’t make the final cut of the novel. The questions below are designed to test that (to some degree). [NOW CLOSED, REVIEWS PENDING] Answer at least 5 of these in a comment with a link to your story and I’ll give you an in-depth review. Reviews are approximately 1000 words and take me well over an hour, so if you’re looking to polish up your manuscript then don’t miss out. Also, the opening chapter with the most interesting and well-developed character will be featured on this blog! Feel free to write about anyone as long as they feature in the same story. You can ans...

Opening Chapter: Quiz and Contest

The opening chapter is pivotal. It needs to draw in an intended audience – it needs flare and promise of things to come, with writing that earns the reader’s trust, luring them into the next chapter.  I’ve made a quick quiz to test whether your opening has what it takes. You don’t need all of these things for a good chapter. Hell, I bet there are a few I’ve forgotten too! Answer each of the following using evidence from your opening. If you can’t, then maybe you need to spice up the chapter. 1) Is your opening line unique, scene setting, or hooking? 2) What makes your character unique? 3) Pick out your best line of description. 4) Pick out your quirkiest line. 5) Is the genre and sub-genres obvious? 6) Is it clean from silly mistakes – have you read through more than 10 times? 7) Does it end on a cliff-hanger? 8) What makes it different from other novels in that genre? 9) Does it start close to the action? 10) Are you happy with it?...

Show Vs. Tell: Round 1

Hands up if a critic has told you ‘show don’t tell’ (SDT). Keep that hand up if you found it rather unhelpful at the time or if that critic didn’t elaborate much. Yes, it’s a pesky phrase. Showing rather than telling can be a pretty powerful tool, and here's what it really means: Showing brings your words to life, creates imagery, and lets the reader know exactly what’s going on. It doesn’t tell you facts explicitly, but builds an idea in your head so that usually you understand it in far more detail than you would have. Good writing makes you realise a fact without being told it straight. As a writer it forces you to explore your imagination further really think about your story and your characters. It adds depth. *But showing is not always better than telling.* Telling adds pace. It moves the story along and sums up ideas that may be unclear if let to just showing. It doesn’t try to add detail to a relatively boring fact. It lets you know what piece of information is imp...